Sight-seeing the inner caves of STYLe 4-MotiOn.

Wed, 21 May 2008 19:26:52 GMT

I've been depressed all day, cos' for such a long time I haven't been in any form of contact with someone that is a bit crazy and imaginative and intense (like I am) -- my life at this point is boring to say the least, and i must wait a long time for it to grow.. but it would make me feel so free if I had like a buddy, a friend, that just gets me, you know?

*sigh* oh well...

Hehe, was at the pharmacist and noticed he sold botles of Belladonna tincture =D and that typical grin spread across my face >D

THIS is another thing I long for...:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=FvwuYvvbNQY

highlight of the day: I saw a BEAUtifulwoman... she acted like, hyper-intelligent-crazy-and-playful.. definiively mischievous and sexy. Everybody thought she was stupid haha. That reminded me of myself actualy =)
I'm just wowed by her. I actually want to dve ino her world, I'm convinced it's intriguing, dark, and magical.

Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remember You

Thu, 15 May 2008 11:37:22 GMT

Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remember You

(by sarah mclachlan, seamus egan, and dave merenda)
http://preciousthings.51.net/sarahmclachlan/

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories...

*sigh*....

Listening alotta Sarah McLachlan lately; not just because it reminds me of MiMi, and makes me kinda sad (but romantic sad.... and feeling like I'm 'letting it out'), but the songs are so wonderful. She's so talented.

I've had so many thoughts about me and mimi not working out. It's just.... :(
Took me 1,5 years to actually feel pain for it, real pain, not just feeling low
I saw MiMi riding her bike on the A'damse straat weg, her facial expression so angry and sad, and I just had a moment of 'Oh my God, baby, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!:((('
It's my meek side aye... :/
Whoever is to blame (if anyone is), it's so fucked up that she had to hurt like that :'(

Please don't leave me again I cried
And I threw bitter tears at the ocean
But all that came back was the tide...

And I will, oh I will not forget you.. nor will I ever let you go...

relaxinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:36:40 GMT

I'm at this guy's house with 2 friends, smoking weed, sipping wine. This guy's got piles of cd's with good music (right now ChillOut2002 is playing, with all kinds of Groove Armada-kinda music), but also piles of very fine films on DVD. And an amplifier holding really 'swell' speakers, hooked to the cd, radio, tv and dvd.
And that TV is BIGSCREEN......... =)

So I'm "maxing&relaxing" 8-)

I'm like, really calm inside and all that stuff :P

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:00:25 GMT

aughghghghghghghg :) something made me smile and chuckle for a long time =)
(and i was in a very fucking not smiling mood, so..)
emily's new post. i mean, AUGHGHGHGHG
look what she wrote:

----

augh

i feel terrible

*hides face in shame*

i ahve a dirty little secret

:(
:(
:(
:(

i let my venus in gemini get the best of me

----

the post is not cute, it's terrible... terrible, what's happened to her
but this is just written down too CUTE.

What Your City Walk Means

You are thoughtful and contemplative. You enjoy spending time alone with your thoughts.

You are generally confident and friendly with strangers. You are well mannered and sociable.

Money is very important to you. You like to have lots of nice things... and you don't care if you're being greedy.

You enjoy the world around you, and you thrive on new environments. You can be easily surrounded by natural or man made beauty.

The City Walk Personality Test

Your Personality at 35,000 Says...

Deep down, you prefer spending time alone to spending time with others. You enjoy thinking more than talking.

You are good with your place in the world. You are confident and comfortable with who you are.

Your gift is having good ears. You are naturally musical, and you pick up foreign languages easily.

You are inspired by what is possible. Real life is often too ordinary for you.

It's very easy for you to feel happy. You can find peace with any situation.

The Personality Test at 35,000 Feet

Your Personality at 35,000 Says...

The Personality Test at 35,000 Feet

You Are Disturbingly Profound

You're contemplative, thoughtful, and very intense.

Taking time to figure out the meaning of life is a priority for you.

Because you're so introspective, you often react in ways that surprise people.

No one can really understand how you are on the inside... and that disturbs them.

Are You Disturbingly Profound or Profoundly Disturbing?

Pain and Lust

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 18:28:02 GMT

Moments of pain fade into moments of incredibly, almost insatiable lust, that fade back into the moments of pain, creating a continuous loop of pain->lust

I've been *very* fucking horny all week, and it's not funny anymore :O
Not just physical lust,lust burning with every particle of the mind, heart, and body.

Those weird fuckers in Utrecht are driving me bazooka's.

I saw MiMi with a guy that was not the boyfriend Ive seen (Richard). Richard looks dorky to me. Find yourself a fucking ENTJ, they go best with INFP's (I've been around alotta ENTJ's so I kinda know em in general. ENTJ is better than an ENTP. Except for the fact that you won't be smiling and laughing so often with the ENTJ >D)
Anyway, they were discussing something standing in front of a restaurant, so I think he might be a potentially new boyfriend. Richard's a neglectfull idiot anyway, if you ask me. Not judging him out of jealousy, it's based on reading mimi's journal stating that Richard is a *tad* neglectful and has even bigger lack of empathy than I have. That's rare.

The new guy had exactly the same hairdo as I have. I'm hotter thou ;)
Seriously. Not to be all in defense and whatnot, but I truly honestly think MiMi was a temporary dumbass to push me away, push me out of the relationship (she'd probably say in response: "But YOU left ME!" -- yes, cause our love had turned into rotten misery, eating my heart out every moment, every day...) like that, because is there anyone she can love as much as she loved me? With my larger than life affection, and all those wacky/intelligent/cute ENTPi traits.
I love her still of course.... that part of her that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and go "awaawghawghghgh you're so SWEET!", and I will never forget her. To this day I often sit alone in my room, put Sarah McLaghlan on ("In the arms of the angel, fly away from here, from this dark cold hotel room" .. "In your sweet embrace, all my pains erase" .. "If I had the chance love, I would not hesitate to tell you all the things I never said before" .. "It's the state I am in; I can't be good to anyone else") -- Possession (the piano&voice song that goes "I'll kiss you so hard...I'll take your breath away") is my favourite song.. about 1-1,5 week ago I was listening this song on repeat (so basically that same song again and again and again...), and after some time I just broke down and cry... had to cry so hard I had the feeling (and almost DID) of vomiting... eventually I couldn't handle it no more, I just kept crying and crying for so long. now that I look back on it tears well up my eyes a bit and I get that feeling in my throat.
This was the first time I truely cried over MiMi.

Later that week I went to the pharmacy across the supermarkt (Boni, where Mi and I worked, coincidentally), and I just... my gut told me to walk through the lane where MiMi lived when we broke up (it was a temporary house not far from their original house, that was being renovated); there's one picture that's in my memory so incredibly sharp, and that is MiMi saying 'bye, pi :'(', wlking home under her umbrella... while I was standing on the corner of the street, just watching her leave... shit, again that feeling like I'm going to cry, only no tears fall out of my eyes.
I have problems crying - I never cried over alotta stuff that I was supposed to cry over, things that were supposed to hurt but I didn't feel the pain of it.

I walked through the street where she lives now (saw her mom and dad in their car passing me, I said nothing; what could I say, you know), where she had lived almost her entire life.
My last stop was the playground near her house, where we ate icecream on a hot day.... turned out all 'our' things (the benches we sat on, the huge concrete tube where we sat in to hide from the rain) where gone...

I thought that was a therapeutical thing to do, walk through these memories now that I am able to accept that MiMi is gone forever, even though there are times that I miss her so FUCKING much and I feel knives stabbing my stumach from the emotional pain, memories seeping from my veins.

Anyway, in that week, just the latter was the case... I felt so horrible for days on:( just.... lonely and empty, while nothing (even my latest girlfriend) could light up the darkness; if only just a little bit, because the pain I experience in times like that, they are above my treshold, too intense to bear, while I experience it (even in physical manifestation) in full force, every fucking minute, all day long, in this case for totally one week.

I think MiMi's heart has a place hidden very well but not so much for her most dear ones that's absolutely innocent, and sometimes reminds me of the sweet naieve of a child; doing all kinds of things that would make me smile and feel so good inside that I'd burst out saying: "goddamnit liefie! that's so cute! NEEEEEJ HE :D"
And I'll always miss touching that MiMi, the one I loved so much it would sometimes start to hurt, drunk in my desire.... no one can take that place, no one can steal those precious memories I stocked away deep in my psyche, only for me to play behind my eyes.

It feels a bit like the phases of mourning, and after a long time, you find yourself accepting that that dear one is gone and will never be with you again, bringing you feelings unique to the relationship with that dear one, but also cherishing memories, and letting go of most of the anger (there'll always be something left deep inside) of 'fuck, i never wanted things to be like this but they did and i cant do a fucking thing :S:S:S:S'.

But maybe I'm talking bullshit. I'm 22 you know.

Eminem ft. Dido - Stan

Chorus: Dido
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background
2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got him
There probably was a problem at the post office or something
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot him
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fucking idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; {*screaming*
Shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clowning dog,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!

Eminem - Kim

[Eminem]
Aww look at daddy's baby girl
That's daddy baby
Little sleepy head
Yesterday I changed your diaper
Wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big?
Can't believe it now your two
Baby you're so precious
Daddy's so proud of you

Sit down bitch,
If you move again I'll beat the shit out of you !

[Eminem]
(Okay)
Don't make me wake this baby
She don't need to see what I'm about to do
Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you?
How could you?
Just leave me and love him out the blue
Oh, what's a matter Kim?
Am I too loud for you?
Too bad bitch, your gonna finally hear me out this time

At first, I'm like all right
You wanna throw me out? That's fine!
But not for him to take my place, are you out you're mind?
This couch, this TV, this whole house is mine!
How could you let him sleep in our bed?
Look at Kim
Look at your husband now!
(No!)
I said look at him!
He ain't so hot now is he?
Little punk!
(Why are you doing this?)
Shut the fuck up!
(You're drunk! You're never going to get away at this!)
You think I give a fuck!
Come on we're going for a ride bitch
(No!)
Sit up front
(Well I can't just leave Haley alone, what if she wakes up?)
We'll be right back
Well I will you'll be in the trunk

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

You really fucked me Kim
You really did a number on me
Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me
But we was kids then Kim, I was only 18
That was years ago
I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's fucked up!
(I love you!)

Oh God my brain is racing
(I love you!)
What are you doing?
Change the station I hate this song!
Does this look like a big joke?
(No!)
There's a four year old boy lyin' dead with a slit throat
In your living room, ha-ha
What you think I'm kiddin' you?

You loved him didn't you?
(No!)
Bullshit you bitch don't fucking lie to me
What the fuck's this guy's problem on the side of me?
Fuck you asshole, yeah bite me
Kim, KIM!
Why don't you like me?
You think I'm ugly don't you
(It's not that!)
No you think I'm ugly
(Baby)
Get the fuck away from me, don't touch me
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU

How the fuck could you do this to me?
(Sorry!)
How the fuck could you do this to me?

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

Come on get out
(I can't I'm scared)
I said get out bitch!
(Let go of my hair, please don't do this baby)

(Please I love you, look we can just take Haley and leave)
Fuck you, you did this to us
You did it, it's your fault
Oh my God I'm crackin' up
Get a grip Marshall
Hey remember the time we went to Brian's party?
And you were like so drunk that you threw up all over Archie
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)

See it all makes sense, doesn't it?
You and your husband have a fight
One of you tries to grab a knife
And during the struggle he accidentally gets his Adams apple sliced
(No!)
And while this is goin' on
His son just woke up and he just walks in
She panics and he gets his throat cut
(Oh my God!)
So now they both dead and you slash your own throat
So now it's double homicide and suicide with no note
I should have known better when you started to act weird
We could've...HEY! Where you going? Get back here!
You can't run from me Kim
It's just us, nobody else!
You're only making this harder on yourself

Ha! Ha! Got'cha!
(Ahh!)
Ha! Go ahead yell!
Here I'll scream with you!
AH SOMEBODY HELP!
Don't you get it bitch, no one can hear you?
Now shut the fuck up and get what's comin to you

You were supposed to love me !!!

*Kim choking
NOW BLEED! BITCH BLEED!
BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED!

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

Scenery I haven't experienced (kidnapping my girlfriend/wife with plans to kill her, after finding her in his trailerhouse with another man)
This is the perfect musical expression of what I experience alot when I'm angry...
'How the fuck could you do this to me!?!?' - he says in despairing anger and pain

depressed like hell

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:34:41 GMT

Your Heart is Blue and Green

Your heart is open and dynamic.

You are flexible, optimistic, and expressive.

You bring honesty and intimacy to relationships.

You're good at expressing your needs to your partner.

What Are the Colors of Your Heart?

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality.

You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex.

You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular.

Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!).

Deep down you are: Dependable and modest

Your partying style: Understated and polite

Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

What Kind of Wine Are You?

Your Thinking is Abstract and Sequential

You like to do research and collect lots of information.

The more facts you have, the easier it is for you to learn.

You need to figure things out for yourself and consider all possibilities.

You tend to become an expert in the subjects that you study.

It's difficult for you to work with people who know less than you do.

You aren't a very patient teacher, and you don't like convincing people that you're right.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

The Greatest Discovery

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 02:48:23 GMT

Since last Saturday I've started French classes.
And so, me and the French girl Corinne have made it possible for me to compete with the great Baudelaire (you know I'm better than everyone else anyway ^^) and write FRENCH poems!

I registered a seperate blog for my poems/lyrics under my pseudonym, 'Leonardo Lestat', find it at http://LeonardoLestat.LiveJournal.com/ -- it has my first French poem (with the original English one for reference) on it. Check it out! =)

I'mma get a picture of myself on it of course soon... you'll just wait. You just wait and see. ;)

Rebecca

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 19:53:45 GMT

Can you hear the floorboards crying?
In a room on the second floor
That used to be owned by someone, no one
But he don't live there anymore...

Only Rebecca clasping her head in her knees
Trying to work out what it's about
And why someone had to leave
And the tide will turn for Rebecca
Her dreams'll change
Her hopes re-arrange
And the tide will turn for Rebecca...

The LONG version... :P

Elton John - The Tide Will Turn For Rebecca

Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin

Can you hear the floorboards crying
In a room on the second floor
That used to be owned by someone who's no one
But he don't live there anymore

Only Rebecca clasping her head in her knees
Trying to work out what it's about
And why someone had to leave

But dry up your tears
Stop counting the years
Don't worry what's coming
Forget all your fears

And the tide will turn for Rebecca
And the tide will turn for Rebecca
Her life will change
Her hopes rearrange
Into something that might really matter

She's all alone in a world of her own
With a key that fits her lonely world
You won't need a crowd to shout out aloud

Venom (Part II) -- Lyric

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 08:45:41 GMT

Venom (Part II)

MiMi... this is from me to you.

There's no sweetened sugar

On our lips

The sting from the thorn

Allows me little sips

So much to say

So little time

Until eternity passes us by

And the shores will run dry

There I'll be.

Disturbed - Forsaken

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 03:57:31 GMT

Forsaken Lyrics (Disturbed)

Disturbed - Forsaken Lyrics

[Originally wrote and performed by KORN]

I'm over it
You see I'm falling in the vast abyss
Clouded by memories of the past
At last, I see

I hear it fading
I can't speak it
Or else you will dig my grave
We fear them finding
Always winding
Take my hand now
Be alive

You see I cannot be forsaken
Because I'm not the only one
We walk amongst you
Feeding, raping
Must we hide from everyone

I'm over it
Why can't we be together
Erase it
Sleeping so long
Taking off the mask
At last, I see

My fear is fading
I can't speak it
Or else you will dig my grave
We fear them finding
Always winding
Take my hand now
Be alive

You see I cannot be forsaken
Because I'm not the only one
We walk amongst you
Feeding, raping
Must we hide from everyone

You see I cannot be forsaken
Because I'm not the only one
We walk amongst you
Feeding, raping
Must we hide from everyone

Everyone
Everyone
Everyone [fading out]

alyssa

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 17:04:59 GMT

this picture is SOOO cute :D:D:D:D

( its alyssa =) auuughghghghghgghghgh =) )

i absolutely WORSHIP her new hairstyle --- it's dark and straightened, and the model's cut perfectly

i saw my mother today, shortly
i emailed her for my info-cruise certificate
shes my blood but alotta the time i just cant stand her
my dads so much wiser than her...

some WONDERFUL & INTENSE & MESMERIZING pics...

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:07:19 GMT

...I stole :$ from http://honest-illusion.livejournal.com/346629.html?thread=3581189 , because I just couldn't resist and had to pick out the best and put them together

hehehe =) its entp :]

what can i say.... :-o

banner made by queenofnarnia

picture taken by pinktutu, banner made by myself

nice ^^

---

more somethings i stole :$ from the page...... it was entp so what can i say? *shrugs and smiles*

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

So i took this test ^.... guess what came out; ENTJ :-O
Yes I have been very Jish *handonchin*
Check it out:

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

Hogwarts Sorting Hat: Based on Myers-Briggs Personality Typing

You are a SLYTHERIN! As a Slytherin and as an NTP, you are ambitious, independent, and driven to achieve excellence. You excel at strategizing and planning to accomplish your goals, and set very high standards for yourself and others. You are confident, intellectual, and can be fiercely competitive. You may not be concerned about harmony or the importance of feelings, and you often challenge authority and can be deeply skeptical. You are sometimes seen as elitist, and can be impatient with others who you consider less competent than yourself. However, you are also flexible, open-minded, and ingenious, and you can be charming company.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

More descriptions of ENTP can be found HERE and HERE

I took the Quizilla test too, check it out:

Hogwarts Sorting Hat: Based on Myers-Briggs Personality Typing

You are a RAVENCLAW!As a Ravenclaw and as an NTP, you are intellectual, independent, and value excellence in yourself and in those around you. You have a strong sense of curiosity, and in general can see many aspects of a single issue or debate. You have a strong drive to acquire knowledge and set very high standards for yourself and those around you. You enjoy being challenged, and can accept constructive criticism without taking it personally. You are probably at least somewhat unconventional, and will not usually follow authority for its own sake; instead, you will consider the issue at hand and make a decision for yourself.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Cry Me A River

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 07:30:11 GMT

Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River

You were my sun
You were my earth
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from him
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things people told me
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it
(Yea..)

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
(All alone)
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
(When you call me on the phone)
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
(I'm not like them baby)
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
(It's your turn)
To cry, cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be... leaving

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

Cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river
(You can go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Cause I've already cried)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea
(Ain't gonna cry no more, yea-yea)

Cry me a river
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river
(Cry me, cry me)

Some Lushious Lestat Lyrics...

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 20:30:57 GMT

Static-X - Not Meant For Me
<< Queen of the Damned OST >>

You think you're smart
You're not, it's plain to see
That you want me to follow
It's killing me let's see
You've got the gall
Come take it all

The jury is coming
Coming to tear me apart
All this bitching and moaning
Come on it's on

I'm trapped in this world
Lonely and fading
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come
We are stuck in this world
That's not meant for me
For me

So what you got
One last shot
It seems to me
That you're not needed
Come on
It's killing me let's see
You got the gall
Come take it all

The jury is coming
coming to tear me apart
All this bitching and moaning
Come on it's on

I'm trapped in this world
Lonely and fading
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come
We are stuck in this world
That's not meant for me
For me

I'm trapped in this world
Lonely and fading
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come
We are stuck in this world
That's not meant for me

For me
For me

David Draiman - Forsaken
<< Queen of the Damned OST >>

I'm over it!
You see I’m falling in the vast abyss...
Clouded by memories of the past...
At last…I see

I hear it fading, I can't speak it,
or else you will dig my grave;
You fear them finding, always whining...
take my hand now be alive!

You see I cannot be forsaken,
because I’m not the only one,
We walk amongst you feeding, raping...
Must we hide from everyone?

I’m over it.
Why can't we be together, embrace it,
sleeping so long, taking off the mask,
At last…I see

I feel this fading, I can't speak it,
or else you will dig my grave,
You fear them finding, always whining...
Take my hand now be alive!

You see I cannot be forsaken,
because I’m not the only one,
We walk amongst you feeding, raping...
Must we hide from everyone?

You see I cannot be forsaken,
because I’m not the only one,
We walk amongst you feeding, raping...
Must we hide from everyone?

Everyone...
Everyone.

Jay Gordon - Slept So Long
<< Queen of the Damned OST >>

Walking, waiting 

Alone without a care 

Hoping, and hating 

Things that I can't bare 



Did you think it's cool to walk right up 

To take my life and fuck it up 

Well did you 

Well did you 



I see hell in your eyes 

Taken in by surprise 

Touching you makes me feel alive 

Touching you makes me die inside 



Walking, waiting 

Alone without a care 

Hoping, and hating 

Things that I can't bare 



Did you think its cool to walk right up 

To take my life and fuck it up 

Well did you 

I hate you 



I see hell in your eyes 

Taken in by surprise 

Touching you makes me feel alive 

Touching you makes me die inside 



I've slept so long without you 

It's tearing me apart, too 

How to get this far 

Playing games with this old heart 



I've killed a million petty souls 

But I couldn't kill you 

I've slept so long without you 



I see Hell in your eyes 

Taken in by surprise 

Touching you makes me feel alive 

Touching you makes me die inside 



I see Hell in your eyes 

Taken in by surprise 

Touching you makes me feel alive 

Touching you makes me die inside 

(repeat to fade)

PS my new job rox

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 17:23:01 GMT

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 16:40:18 GMT

Your Love Song Is

Yellow by Coldplay

"Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow"

You're so in love, it's like a drug.

What Love Song Are You?

Your Love is Represented by a Orange Rose

When you're in love, you tend to be overwhelmed and consumed by desire.
You develop fascinations with people easily, and they're sometimes even borderline obsessions!
You tend to come on strong. Your love is as hot as a flame.

What Rose Represents Your Love?

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict.
One moment you're in your own little happy universe...
And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable.
You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Your Birthdate: March 19

You don't just believe in love at first site - you've experienced it.
You develop crushes pretty easily, but keeping your interest is another matter!
You are very prone to love - hate relationships.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 1

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1

You are most compatible with people born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, and 28th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

YOULL NOT STOP ME!

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 10:44:46 GMT

USA here I come!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

(I loved the Eddie Murphy/Wes Craven movie 'Vampire in Brooklyn' that I watched last night)

touch 'em all :-)

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 11:32:53 GMT

Sign our pledge to demand freedom of information and expression on the Internet

Today I remembered something! There was a time I was in full action for Amnesty, persuading people to ACT for human rights -- and I left that piece of my person for sometime in anger and bitterness... back to Picking Up The Pieces.

I'd like to write a raving motivation text, but the text I found on YoungAmnesty.nl is so full of perfection that I'm just going to copy & translate it into English.

Imagine: you want to chat on the internet with your friends or look up information for a school assignment, but it's impossible.
The information you need is not available via the internet and everything you tlak about with your friends on the chat, is being monitored by the government. Sounds like a science fiction movie, doesn't it? Unfortunately, in China it's the every day reality.

Blogs can be deleted and even Chinese people are imprisoned because they exchange information and put this on the internet.
One of those people is Chinese journalist Shi Tao. He has been convicted to ten years of imprisonment. His crime? Sending an e-mail containing info about guidelines that journalist have to follow whenever they wrote about the memorial of the bloodbath at the Plain of Heavenly Peace. Shi Tao sent his e-mail to the US using his Yahoo account. Yahoo gave out the IP number of his computer to the Chinese authorities after they requested this. This IP number was proof the the government that Shi Tao was the sender of the e-mail, and so he was busted for 'sending state-secrets abroad'.

Freedom of press and speech are important human rights and for this reason, Amnesty Internation finds the internet-censor in China not okay. Next year China is host-country of the Olympics and from now until then Amnesty will be IN ACTION.

You can help.
Via the website irrepressible Amnesty calls out to you, to consciously publish fragments of censored material on your website or blog.
The more people that do this, the clearer the message to the Chinese government will be that Freedom of Speech may never be repressed!
Also, check out Amnesty's campagnesite. (It's Dutch :$)

[ http://irrepressible.info/buttons ]

Download and use these BUTTONS

You can show your support online by simply downloading your favourite button below to use it on your website (why not link the button to irrepressible.info !), your desktop or in your email signature.

Simply right click on any of the badges and choose “save as” from the menu.

(150 x 60)

(128 x 64)

(60 x 40)

(45 x 30)

(160 x 18)

BE irrepressible

Sign our pledge on Internet freedom to call on all governments and companies to ensure the Internet is a force for political freedom, not repression.
Undermine censorship by publishing irrepressible fragments of censored material on your own site. The more people take part, the more we can defeat unwarranted censorship and create an unstoppable network of protest.

Take further action(s)

Viet Nam continues to arrest, imprison and harass people for expressing their opinions through the internet.
Demand the release of Nguyen Vu Binh and others imprisoned for expressing their political views online. Take this action from: UK US Other

A campaign by Amnesty International. Concept and realisation by Soda Creative, developing creative tools that help communities work, play and learn together. Supported by The Observer and OpenNet Initiative.

	Internet dissident released in Viet Nam Internet dissident Nguyen Vu Binh has been released from prison after spending almost five years behind bars.

	Two years behind Tunisian bars for speaking out 1 March 2007 marks the second anniversary of the imprisonment of lawyer and human rights defender Mohammed Abbou. Take action for the immediate and unconditional release of Mohammed Abbou

	Sorry, we can't find any results containing "human rights"... Internet companies have an invaluable role to play in the realization of freedom of expression and information. But in China and elsewhere, Microsoft, Google and Yahoo are instead aiding repression, censorship, and violation of fundamental freedoms. Take action! Urge Microsoft not to assist human rights abuses ~~Google does not censor:~~ take action to defend freedom of information Take action to free Shi Tao, prosecuted with information provided by Yahoo.

When storms pass...

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 20:08:16 GMT

Ghehehe... I was browsing through pictures of Brad Pitt today; I used to think of him as a typical ENFJ/ESTP guy -- but lately he looks really relaxed and authentic to me.
Im actually starting to think of him as 'cool' :D With his own jokes and stuff... :D

I wish I could be ... less intense sometimes.
But that's not what I meant to write here :)

I just read the latest post on Alyssa Milano's baseball blog. She's my hero :)
There's this voting thing on players eligable to win the Roberto Clemente Award ( who's he? http://alyssa.mlblogs.com/ read the Sep. 06 post ), and for this she just went and made this long-ass post :-) with 30 players, all organised neatly and stuff, and I think thats so cute, but more strongly I feel that she is actually doing something that is meaning something to the world... and I just haven't done that.
I wish I had the oppertunity to do something like that -- and it's so hard for me that I am sometimes not strong enough ( my body actually gets tense when I admit something like that ... ) to just clench my jaws and focus on a hard job and follow through; and it's been so depressing that my efforts to build my Strong Ark/Homebase (say a strong plateau where I can be relaxed and focus without things distracting me) are beaten down so much by stuff like boss after boss not hiring me, or boss after boss giving me a job that I'm bound to quit or bound to get fired from because it's such a shit job.
And when I look back on the past years I've been so self-centered (yes, hard to admit too.... because I treasure my giving nature) because I was betrayed so often and lose faith now and then. I want to do things that angels do, but I end up in some shitty reality, lose my faith, and turn into this pissed off and controlling person that I'm really not.

Sigh :/

I wish I wish... :)

But hey, at least I have someone to inspire me -- Alyssa! She's still my hero :-)
Nobody ever inspired me like this

This week I'm gonna give a go on clenching my jaw and casting a vote for that award-thingy
Altho I dont watch baseball =)

Oh yeah.... I just wanted to post an avatar I made of Lestat; he's in the movie 'Queen of the Damned' and it's such a cool movie :D
I've had it for a few days but I watched it for god knows how many times :D:D:D Comes close to FnL-times :D

Phil Collins/David Crosby - Hero

Well it was one of those great stories
that you can't put down at night
the hero knew what he had to do
and he wasn't afraid to fight
the villain goes to jail, while the hero goes free
I wish it were that simple for me.

And the reason that she loved him
was the reason I loved him too
and he never wondered what was right or wrong
he just knew - he just knew.

Shadows and shape mixed together at dawn
but by time you catch them simplicity's gone
and so we sort through the pieces
my friends and I
searching through the darkness to find
the breaks in the sky.

And the reason that she loved him
was the reason I loved him too
and he never wondered what was right or wrong
he just knew - he just knew.

And we wonder, yes we wonder
how do you make sense of this
when the hero kills the maiden
with his kiss - with his kiss.

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 12:09:18 GMT

RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE

my computers too fucking slow -_-

i have no cigarettes

nobody will help

nobody hires me

and my mothers a fucking whore
her blood is too filthy to drink

but i desire to torture her soul into eternity

everything i see i want to take in my hands anmd rbrreeak
i feel the urge to pull my hair as it hangs over my eyes

every movement my mother makes makes me feel furious

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 01:10:22 GMT

You Are a Dragon

You are very charismatic and incredibly popular.
People are drawn to your energy, but you are a very difficult person to get to know.
You are very active - you are usually hard at work or play.
You enjoy drama, and you enjoy anything unusual or eccentric.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.
You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.
Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.
And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Are 65% Misanthropic

Here's the truth: Most people suck. You are just lucky enough to know it.
You're not ready to go live alone in a cave - but you're getting there.

How Misanthropic Are You?

Your Unique Costume is a Chicken with its Head Cut Off

An excuse to run around like you're crazy :-)

What Totally Unique Halloween Costume Should You Wear?

You Should Rule Venus

Venus is a mysterious, stormy planet - shrouded in a thick layer of clouds.

You are perfect to rule Venus, because you are quite emotional and volatile yourself.
Your emotions change as rapidly as the weather on Venus, and both you and the planet are incomprehensible to others.

While you are not a logical thinker, you are quite empathetic.
You can care for and understand others, but your emotions swirl too quickly to truly understand yourself.

What Planet Should You Rule?

ARRRRRRRR i AM a logical thinker *arms crossed*

You Are 72% Sociopath

The good news is that you're devastatingly charming.
The bad news? You mostly use those charms for evil!

Are You A Sociopath?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there.

For you, falling in love is all about the adventure and uncertainty. You can only fall in love with someone who keeps you guessing.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

You Make a Good First Impression

You probably are making a much better impression than you realize.
Social situations can be a bit awkward for you at times, and you tend to over think what you say and do.
If you make a social faux pas, you remember it a lot longer than anyone else does.

Just relax and do your best. There are little things you can do to improve your social image.
Express more of an interest in the people around you, and be a good listener.
The secret of fascinating people is that they find everyone else fascinating!

What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Could You Be Violent?

The Duchess

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 00:18:10 GMT

THE DUCHESS

Times were good
She never thought about the future, she just did what she would
But she really cared
About her music, it all seemed so important then,
And she dreamed that she performed
Everyone would cry for more,
That all she had to do was step into the light,
And everyone would start to roar.

And on the road,
Where all but a few fall by the wayside on the grassier verge,
She battled through
Against the others in her world, and the sleep, and the odds.

But now everytime that she performed
Everyone cried for more,
Soon all she had to do was to step into the light,
For everyone to start to roar,
And all the people cried, you’re the one we’ve waited for.

But time went by
It wasn’t so easy now, all uphill, and not feeling so strong.
Yes times were hard,
Too much thinking ‘about the future and what people might want.

An then was the time that she performed
When nobody called for more
And soon everytime she stepped into the light,
But she dreamed all the times when sang her songs
And everyone cried for more,
When all she had to do was step into the light
Foe everyone to start to roar,
And all the people cried, you’re the one we’ve waited for.

Blood In My Brain

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 15:22:57 GMT

i threw my anti depressives in the bin yesterday -- with 40mg's a day i still want to kill myself alot of the time
morbid things calm my nerves..... thank god for deviantart.com *thumb up*

i just crave for romantic tenderness
someone to feel one with & identify with
but i cannot find that someone
and my jobs only include stupid girls
so does this city

:(

Helplessly Lost In Dreams...

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 05:49:51 GMT

okay I dreamed lots
I dreamed I was snorting a lot of coke and there was white powder all over the room
I dreamed about a porn movie

So I'm just gonna make a selection hehe

A man in his fifties holding a small snake.
The snake had to suck blood, this was his instinct.
The man allowed the snake to draw blood from him.
The snake bit him in his forehead, then retracted.
The second draw was from the man's mouth.
The third draw was from his neck.

The man didn't die, because he was saved by a cat. Somehow I had known in advance that the cat was gonna save him.

The cat had long teeth, like mammoth (the ancient elephants) have, and saber tooth tigers have.

The cat talked about 'legal hunting' -- the cat and the snake both had killing instincts which they couldn't use because that would hurt others but because they were equals in this aspect they could follow their instincts on each other.

Style took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!"Needs to feel identified with someone or something..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Results:

Your Existing Situation

The situation is difficult and he is trying to persist in his objectives against resistance. Finds it necessary to conceal his intentions as an added precaution, in order to disarm the opposition.

Your Stress Sources

The situation is regarded as threatening or dangerous. Outraged by the thought that he will be unable to achieve his goals and distressed at the feeling of helplessness to remedy this. Over-extended and feels beset, possibly to the point of nervous prostration.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Feels that he is burdened with more than his fair share of problems. However, he sticks to his goals and tries to overcome his difficulties by being flexible and accommodating.

Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity but restless and inclined to be emotionally withdrawn, which prevents him from becoming deeply involved.

Feels that things stand in his way, that circumstances are forcing him to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.

Your Desired Objective

Needs to feel identified with someone or something and wishes to win support by his charm and amiability. Sentimental and yearns for a romantic tenderness.

Your Actual Problem

Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on his resources. This feeling of powerlessness subjects him to agitation and acute distress. He attempts to escape into a substitute world in which things are more nearly as he desires them to be.

Turn me loose from your hands
Let me fly to distant lands
Over green fields, trees and mountains..
flowers, and forest fountains

Home along the lanes of the skyway

For this dark and lonely room
Projects a shadow cast in gloom
And my eyes are mirrors of the world outside
Thinking of the ways that the wind can turn the tide

And these shadows turn from purple into grey

For just a Skyline Pigeon dreming of the open, waiting for the day
That he can spread his wings and fly away again
Fly away, Skyline Pigeon fly...
Towards the dreams you left so very far behind
Fly away, Skyline Pigeon fly...
Towards the dreams you left so very far behind

Let me wake up in the morning
To the smell of new mown hay
To laugh and cry, to live and die
In the brightness of my day

I wanna hear the pealing bells of distant churches sing
But most of all please free me from this aching metal ring
And open out this cage towards the sun

For just this Skyline Pigeon dreaming of the open, waiting for the day
That he can spread his wings and fly away again
Fly away, Skyline Pigeon fly...
Towards the dreams you left so very far behind
Fly away, Skyline Pigeon fly...
Towards the dreams you left so very far behind

STIR CRAZY

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 19:13:24 GMT

STIR CRAZY

Sight-seeing the inner caves of STYLe 4-MotiOn.

Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remember You

relaxinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Pain and Lust

depressed like hell

The Greatest Discovery

Rebecca

Venom (Part II) -- Lyric

Disturbed - Forsaken

Forsaken Lyrics (Disturbed)

Disturbed - Forsaken Lyrics

alyssa

some WONDERFUL & INTENSE & MESMERIZING pics...

Cry Me A River

Some Lushious Lestat Lyrics...

YOULL NOT STOP ME!

*touch* 'em all :-)

Download and use these BUTTONS

BE irrepressible

Take further action(s)

When storms pass...

The Duchess

Blood In My Brain

Helplessly Lost In Dreams...

Your Existing Situation

Your Stress Sources

Your Restrained Characteristics

Your Desired Objective

Your Actual Problem

STIR CRAZY

touch 'em all :-)